Regrets... Revenge... Reactive

The three R's.. I know, it used to be Reading Writing, and Arithmetic.. although two of those things don't even begin with the letter R. I have regrets in my life.. although some of those experiences taught me valuable lessons and others drastically altered the path of my life. So, in retrospect (ahh, another R Word) I wouldn't change them. I guess what I need to change is my feelings about being regretful. I have at times wanted revenge on some people who have, in my mind, wronged me in some way. I may have even gotten revenge. Some might say that this blog is revenge.. maybe it is. But.. it's also my real and honest thoughts of my life.. who choses to read it is not my problem I guess. Reactive.. yes.. I have been overly reactive in my life at times. I've lashed out when I thought someone was hurting me or the ones I love and then had to backtrack and apologize for overreacting. I don't think being reactive is such a negative thing most of the time. I know I've jumped in with both feet at times into things I wasn't really ready for, but in the end, I had an ok experience. So... Epic or not.. my reactions, revenges, and regrets are mine and mine alone. I have no one to blame for anything in my life but myself. I never stayed with someone because I thought I should. Some call that honorable.. I call it foolish. I never dreamed of pushing someone off a cliff and watching them die just because I didn't like the way they made me feel.. Sometimes the way they made me feel was correct and I just didn't want to acknowledge that. My life has been filled with my choices and my consequences and I happily and honestly accept all of them. I love where my life is right now... I love that I found the love of my life at this time in my life. I love that I've known love before.. albeit for a short time, but love none the less. I certainly don't wish ill will on any of my past loves... ok.. maybe John.. but only him.. And really.. he's so far in my past that I rarely think of him any longer. I certainly don't wish death on any of them. My life with Mark feels peaceful and purposeful. He and I share.. really share all that we are. No regrets, revenge, or reacting here... Just honestly acknowledging my past and taking responsibility for it all... Epic or not...

At the top of Pike's Peak with Mark. What a great vacation with Mark in Manitou Springs. A Cog Rail train ride up to 14,510 ft up in the air. A 181 vertical climb up 224 stairs to see the Seven Falls waterfalls, and a walk around the Garden of the Gods. What an amazing adventure... so much fun!