As I move through this life of mine, I'm learning more and more how to let go of the past, embrace the present, and let the future take care of itself.
Once in a while I still want to try and control the future... and get into a mindset that takes away from the moment at hand. I've been experiencing some beautiful moments in my life. I have a daughter and 2 sons who take my breath away. I have this adorable little puppy that makes me smile and lets me snuggle with her.. And.. I have Mark. Mark.. He's been such a surprise in my life.
He's away this week working. I can chose to dread these weeks when he's gone, or I can chose to embrace the opportunities to miss him. Missing someone is powerful. Each day that he's gone, I have the opportunity to feel his absence and appreciate what he brings to my life. This morning as we were texting one another, I realized how much laughter he brings to my life. He's brought touching back into my life.. in an intimate way. When you live without the touch of a lover for a long period of time, it's easy to forget how important it is. I had gotten so used to being without intimacy, that I no longer even missed it. Now, I'm keenly aware of the absence of it when he goes out of town for a week at a time. I relish the knowledge that on Friday I'll once again feel his hands and lips..
So.. now, this summer Mark will be moving in with me.. We'll be together on a more permanent basis. He's here most of the time right now.. so it'll be nice to know that when he says he's going home.. he'll mean he's coming here.
I should have some reservations and/or fears about this move in my life. I don't. I only have hope and excitement. I will continue to live each day as it comes and be grateful for the love I have in my life. I will continue to be present in the moments of my life and let the people I love, know that I love them.
Right now.. in this very moment.. I'm happy... fulfilled... and grateful for all that I've been graciously given.
Life is good.... very good....
Such a beautiful Father's Day up in Estes Park. Listening to Mark's band.. and enjoying the scenery. Beautiful day!
I reflected a lot on how blessed I've been in the past 5 months. Mark is the greatest surprise I've ever had in my life. I'm loving living with him.. It's so great to fall asleep with him every night and wake up with him every morning. It's such a peaceful and secure feeling. I've never felt peaceful nor secure in any of my relationships.. but this one is solid... I'm in a place in my life where I can let him him in fully and he's the kind of person you can trust. I love him.. so much.
He's so beautiful to watch...
