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Another beautiful Fall in Colorado's Rocky Mountain National Park. Mark and I spent a beautiful day filled with sunshine, laughter and happiness out in the gorgeous golden national park. It was good for my soul to be amongst the beauty of nature and to have the love of my life there with me. It was a day I'll never forget. Fall is my favorite time of the year. Mark is my favorite person of all time.. It doesn't get any better than this..

Regrets... Revenge... Reactive

The three R's.. I know, it used to be Reading Writing, and Arithmetic.. although two of those things don't even begin with the letter R. I have regrets in my life.. although some of those experiences taught me valuable lessons and others drastically altered the path of my life. So, in retrospect (ahh, another R Word) I wouldn't change them. I guess what I need to change is my feelings about being regretful. I have at times wanted revenge on some people who have, in my mind, wronged me in some way. I may have even gotten revenge. Some might say that this blog is revenge.. maybe it is. But.. it's also my real and honest thoughts of my life.. who choses to read it is not my problem I guess. Reactive.. yes.. I have been overly reactive in my life at times. I've lashed out when I thought someone was hurting me or the ones I love and then had to backtrack and apologize for overreacting. I don't think being reactive is such a negative thing most of the time. I know I've jumped in with both feet at times into things I wasn't really ready for, but in the end, I had an ok experience. So... Epic or not.. my reactions, revenges, and regrets are mine and mine alone. I have no one to blame for anything in my life but myself. I never stayed with someone because I thought I should. Some call that honorable.. I call it foolish. I never dreamed of pushing someone off a cliff and watching them die just because I didn't like the way they made me feel.. Sometimes the way they made me feel was correct and I just didn't want to acknowledge that. My life has been filled with my choices and my consequences and I happily and honestly accept all of them. I love where my life is right now... I love that I found the love of my life at this time in my life. I love that I've known love before.. albeit for a short time, but love none the less. I certainly don't wish ill will on any of my past loves... ok.. maybe John.. but only him.. And really.. he's so far in my past that I rarely think of him any longer. I certainly don't wish death on any of them. My life with Mark feels peaceful and purposeful. He and I share.. really share all that we are. No regrets, revenge, or reacting here... Just honestly acknowledging my past and taking responsibility for it all... Epic or not...

At the top of Pike's Peak with Mark. What a great vacation with Mark in Manitou Springs. A Cog Rail train ride up to 14,510 ft up in the air. A 181 vertical climb up 224 stairs to see the Seven Falls waterfalls, and a walk around the Garden of the Gods. What an amazing adventure... so much fun!

Mrs. Williams?

Tonight as Mark and I were enjoying an evening of good food and music, the waitress brought our check to us and said, "Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Williams. Come see us again!" I was surprised at how that made me feel. Mrs. Williams. We laughed it off.. later in bed, Mark asked me how that made me feel. I told him that it honestly made me feel good. I liked the sound of it. Mark has made it clear that marriage is never going to happen for us, but tonight I sensed a shift in that feeling from him and I definitely felt a shift in my feelings about it as well. Mrs. Williams. hmmmm.. nice ring to it..

Happy Birthday My Love

What an amazing day with Mark on his birthday. We went for a motorcycle ride.. saw some interesting sculptures, had a romantic dinner, and snuggled up on the couch and watched a movie... Big day.. Beautiful day. Happy Birthday to an amazing man... the most amazing man I've ever known. I love you!

Nadira Lynn Dorzweiler

Yesterday I held my very first grandchild in my arms. My little Nadira is so precious and I feel so blessed to have her in my life. I can't believe how much I love her. Being a grandma is a wonderful thing. I'm grateful to my son and his wife for letting me be such a big part of her birth. I love my little Nadira... so much.

Father's Day

Such a beautiful Father's Day up in Estes Park. Listening to Mark's band.. and enjoying the scenery. Beautiful day! I reflected a lot on how blessed I've been in the past 5 months. Mark is the greatest surprise I've ever had in my life. I'm loving living with him.. It's so great to fall asleep with him every night and wake up with him every morning. It's such a peaceful and secure feeling. I've never felt peaceful nor secure in any of my relationships.. but this one is solid... I'm in a place in my life where I can let him him in fully and he's the kind of person you can trust. I love him.. so much. He's so beautiful to watch...