Savannah and Vince

So... My beautiful daughter is trying to grow up too fast. She has a boyfriend.. who I like ok.. but she's too young and I'm trying to do a balancing act with them. Let her spend some time with him, while keeping boundaries around it... Right now she's grounded because she's having trouble honoring those boundaries..

Vince... got laid off from his job. It's so frustrating for him.. he's only 24 and already been through 2 jobs.. it's been a frustrating couple of years for him. I know he'll be moving to Houston to be close to his girlfriend now. The selfish me doesn't want him to go.. but the sensible me knows it's the best thing.

It's hard being a mom.. that's all I have to say about that.. (in my best Forrest Gump voice)

Stella Nicole

My little granddaughter is 7 months old today. I'm hopeful that I'll get to meet her one day along with her father. She looks so sweet.. and I long to hold her and kiss those perfect cheeks!

Not at my best...

When you deal with 8 year olds all day... it's so important to be at the top of your game all day, every day. Today I fell short of my best... I wasn't the teacher I expect myself to be..

I have the weekend to rejuvenate and rest...

Luckily, I didn't hurt anyone with words or anything like that.. I just felt like I wanted to be somewhere else... that's why we have personal days. :)

I love my job.. I expect perfection from myself.. when I'm less than perfect, I feel like a failure..

So... even though I wasn't on top of my game.. little Jennifer didn't care.. she brought me a rose. :)

Where there's smoke there's fire...

My county is under a cloud of smoke... and my friend no longer has a house..

Four Mile Canyon is burning out of control... about 30 miles West of me.. Ash is falling from the sky. We needed to keep our students inside today. Too much smoke for their little lungs.

But.. the saddest thing of all is Melissa.. my friend and colleague. She lives... lived.. in Gold Hill in the Four Mile Canyon area. Her house survived for quite awhile.. but it finally succumbed to the fire. She and her 2 sons, husband and pets are all okay.. but their beautiful home is gone.. along with so many memories..

I will keep her in my thoughts.. and prayers.. I know her so well.. she will survive this and bounce back stronger than ever.. but today she is sad.. and forlorn.. Chin up Melissa...

Sunday Evening...

Unremarkable... I guess that would be the word that would describe my Sunday the best...

Just me and Savannah.. hanging out.. doing laundry... making lunch and dinner..

I watched a couple of movies.. not great movies.. but not bad either..

Cherie... with Michelle Pfeifer was interesting. A woman whose job it is to educate young men in the art of love making.. hmmmmmm... and.. the interesting part was who did the hiring.. the mothers of these young men. Of course one of the young men fell in love with her and she with him and they began to play mind games with each other until they hurt each other beyond repair..

Now I'm just sitting here.. getting more and more tired. I need to go to bed. I will just as soon as the news is over.

Today was supposed to be our last temps in the 90's. I wonder if it will be. I know the nights have been so cool... that my flowers aren't blooming as vividly as they have been. Sure feels nice for sleeping though.. So cool and refreshing. I love it.

The news is talking about Craig's list. A woman is talking about censoring the erotic ads because it promotes human trafficking. I agree that it should be taken down.. I have a pretty open mind, but when it comes to sex and the loose way it's thrown around, I have a problem with it. There has to be some things that remain sacred and I think sex is one of those. So many people's thinking about sex becomes skewed because of all the crap out there...

Yes.. you can see I'm tired.. just rambling on... Good night... sleep well.. dream good dreams.. and hold on tight to the ones you love..

On love and soulmates

My Soulmate

It's a topic I've been thinking about a lot lately... the term soulmate..

Do we have one.. or do we have many? Do we have any?

Many have declared "you are my soulmate.. you are the one"... yet.. what they may mean is...

You are my soulmate right now.. you are the one right now..

Until recently in my life I have thought that "soulmate" was bullshit.. So many use the word, yet don't behave in a way that honors the meaning.

Then one day I planned a vacation... and in another town.. a man was planning his vacation as well... I booked my hotel... The Travel Lodge.. He booked his hotel.. The Holiday Inn.. yet when they looked at their vacancies for that week.. there wasn't any rooms for the entire week of his stay.. so he called the Travel Lodge and they had the room and the days he needed... Four rooms down from mine..

He was a man who shared his life with people in a very trusting way.. and his life was eerily similar to mine... Divorce.. painful one... from an alcoholic.. Trying to raise his kids while making sure life didn't just stop for them.. yet it stopped for him.

We found each other.. yet I really don't think we found each other.. We were put in the right place at the right time.. and our lives became entwined... and he said.. "We were meant to be together.. and you just don't mess with destiny"

So now.. I'm thinking there might just be something to this "soulmate" thing. Everyone who spends time with "us" as a couple says it appears we've been together forever.. We just get each other.

Neither one of us has any idea how to rely on another person.. We've been so strong and solitary for so long, we've forgotten how to let someone else take the load for a while. Maybe that will change with time. Maybe not. Maybe we're always just going to be solitary in our handling of hard times.. I hope not. I'd love to hand some of it off sometime..

I have a friend who has been married for some 30 years.. He loves his partner.. it's obvious that he does.. and he refers to her as his soulmate and I believe him when he says it. By watching him and listening to him, I understand some things about soulmates I didn't understand before..... Soulmates lose each other sometimes... and then come back to each other again. During that lost time, I think a person who has a soulmate feels the loss more than someone who has never experienced the "soulmate' phenomenon. There have been times where he has wandered aimlessly while she has turned corners he wasn't willing to turn.. He was wise enough to stay the course.. for the most part... If he hadn't strayed to some degree, I would have never crossed his path.. He was surprised, I think, that he could bring another "love" into his heart... I didn't understand the depth of his dilemma until recently... because I have someone I'm not willing to let go of.. even when I feel like straying... because of him, I realize that we will always come back to one another. And.. I'm not willing to allow anything to threaten our togetherness.

So.... 1 year ago... soulmate didn't register with me... today... it does.. and thanks to my friend who strayed in my direction some 11 years ago.... I recognized a soulmate when I saw one.. and I know how to stay the course even when it gets difficult. Thank you my wise friend...

Fall

Fall is my favorite time of the year. The days cool down.. and color bursts forth everywhere you look! Fall is a beginning to me. School begins.. football begins.. the holiday season begins..

This fall is shaping up nicely for me. I'll be going away with my soulmate to spend some much needed time alone with him. We have reservations for a suite in Glenwood Springs, CO to spend a long weekend together. Just him, me, a fireplace, some wine, and.... well whatever else we want. Glenwood Springs has a hot springs pool.. all natural.. and perfect for a couple in love to snuggle up in and hold on tight to each other. The weather should be cool.. which will make those hot springs feel perfect.

Cool nights... hot springs... perfect man... the only man for me... all will make for a weekend filled with love and magic!

Curtis

Feeling so blessed in my life these days. I have such great kids.. friends.. family.. and now I have a man that I love so much and treats me so well.

This picture was taken at my family reunion in Nebraska this summer. It was great to have Curtis and his girls along with us. Everyone thought he was a great as I think he is.

It took me a long time, but I finally found him and I'm never letting go.