On love and soulmates

My Soulmate

It's a topic I've been thinking about a lot lately... the term soulmate..

Do we have one.. or do we have many? Do we have any?

Many have declared "you are my soulmate.. you are the one"... yet.. what they may mean is...

You are my soulmate right now.. you are the one right now..

Until recently in my life I have thought that "soulmate" was bullshit.. So many use the word, yet don't behave in a way that honors the meaning.

Then one day I planned a vacation... and in another town.. a man was planning his vacation as well... I booked my hotel... The Travel Lodge.. He booked his hotel.. The Holiday Inn.. yet when they looked at their vacancies for that week.. there wasn't any rooms for the entire week of his stay.. so he called the Travel Lodge and they had the room and the days he needed... Four rooms down from mine..

He was a man who shared his life with people in a very trusting way.. and his life was eerily similar to mine... Divorce.. painful one... from an alcoholic.. Trying to raise his kids while making sure life didn't just stop for them.. yet it stopped for him.

We found each other.. yet I really don't think we found each other.. We were put in the right place at the right time.. and our lives became entwined... and he said.. "We were meant to be together.. and you just don't mess with destiny"

So now.. I'm thinking there might just be something to this "soulmate" thing. Everyone who spends time with "us" as a couple says it appears we've been together forever.. We just get each other.

Neither one of us has any idea how to rely on another person.. We've been so strong and solitary for so long, we've forgotten how to let someone else take the load for a while. Maybe that will change with time. Maybe not. Maybe we're always just going to be solitary in our handling of hard times.. I hope not. I'd love to hand some of it off sometime..

I have a friend who has been married for some 30 years.. He loves his partner.. it's obvious that he does.. and he refers to her as his soulmate and I believe him when he says it. By watching him and listening to him, I understand some things about soulmates I didn't understand before..... Soulmates lose each other sometimes... and then come back to each other again. During that lost time, I think a person who has a soulmate feels the loss more than someone who has never experienced the "soulmate' phenomenon. There have been times where he has wandered aimlessly while she has turned corners he wasn't willing to turn.. He was wise enough to stay the course.. for the most part... If he hadn't strayed to some degree, I would have never crossed his path.. He was surprised, I think, that he could bring another "love" into his heart... I didn't understand the depth of his dilemma until recently... because I have someone I'm not willing to let go of.. even when I feel like straying... because of him, I realize that we will always come back to one another. And.. I'm not willing to allow anything to threaten our togetherness.

So.... 1 year ago... soulmate didn't register with me... today... it does.. and thanks to my friend who strayed in my direction some 11 years ago.... I recognized a soulmate when I saw one.. and I know how to stay the course even when it gets difficult. Thank you my wise friend...