Time

"I'm busy!" He says... so busy... so very very busy....

I have school, I have work, I have my girls, I have my ex who is escalating.. (whatever that means)

So.. here is my question.. where is your joy? where is your smile? where is your happiness...

One year ago I saw them all the time. .. your joy, your smile, your happiness.. Now they are buried in your busy busy life... along with me. You killed us.. and buried me too...

Now I sit here and I wonder about you... I think about how great we are together and how time won't let us be together..

I told you once that I was going to work at being as busy as you so I wouldn't miss you so much.. but then I decided that I didn't want to bury my joy, smiles and happiness too.

And I also realized that no matter how busy I would get ... I would never get too busy for you..because I love you and you deserve time from me....

Taking time away from Savannah to spend an evening with you doesn't mean I'm neglecting her, it means I'm showing her what it takes to make a good relationship work. You, on the other hand, are showing Alexa and Erica that relationships deserve no time.. You are telling them that you don't matter.. only they do.. You wonder why they disrespect you.. It is very obvious that you treat yourself like shit and let them know that your needs always come second to theres.. so of course they will treat you like shit....

You said you won't tolerate me twisting your words.. yet you know I didn't twist your words.. you just didn't like the fact that I called you on your shit... because saying "It just isn't worth it" is saying "Susan, you're just not worth it" no matter how much you wish I was worth it... in your heart you know I'm not.

So.. I know you're not sitting around missing me.. or thinking about me.. and wondering how I am.. because you don't have time to do that either....

but... I am sitting around here missing you and thinking about you and wondering how you are.. because that is what normal people do with the significant people in their lives...

Thank God you are so busy... so busy that you don't even have to think about how lonely and alone you truly are...