Something new...

.... A new friend? A new love? A new companion?

Not sure.. but it was a nice conversation.. easy and uncomplicated.

He made me laugh.. and think.. and a little nervous.

Not sure I'm ready.. but I don't want to be alone either....

So... I think I'll go out with him.. just to see. Just to see...

Still I Rise by Maya Angelou

I love this poem... because it's so human and true for anyone who has ever suffered....

enjoy..

Rest...

Finally... at 2pm tomorrow.. I will be sitting with a group of friends.. having a drink.. a few snacks.. a few laughs... and a few goodbyes.

And summer will officially start for me. I have an entire week off with nothing to do except sleep in.. work in my yard.. read.. work out.. and enjoy my kids and my life...

I'm thinking about all my friends who are living in the paths of tornadoes.. and I'm praying that you'll be safe and your homes will be safe..

I'm thankful that we are experiencing mild weather right now. We had days and days of rain.. but not anything life threatening.

I'm in the process of training for a 5K run.. My wonderful sons are helping me. Monday.. 30 minutes on the treadmill.. running/walking intervals. Tuesday.. running/walking incline intervals.. then lunges(which is why I can walk today)
Tonight.. an hour of tennis and then walking/running around the track for 6 laps.

I'm tired... Good night.. Sleep tight... Don't let the tornadoes bite!

Three More Days

School will be done in
three more days.

I am so relieved because this class has been trying to say the least.

One particular student has been a lesson in patience all year long.

He was absent twice all year and both of those days were a much needed reprieve.

Good luck to his fourth grade teacher...

Good luck to him... he's going to need a LOT of luck with the hand he's been dealt.

A marshmallow father... A mother in denial...

They, I fear, are raising a sociopath... and I fear for anyone who gets in his way..

Now.. three more days.. Part of me wonders that since he was absent on Friday.. will he be absent the remainder of the year?

I don't think I'm that lucky... He'll be there to the bitter end.. Making my last days with these kids a living hell...

Three more Days..

Trying to figure you out...

Are you sad???
Are you mad??
Are you resigned??
Are you alive??

Was the Bottle of Wine thing just supposed to be funny
Or was it supposed to be prophetic?

I'm here.. just wondering..

Is my friend ok?

Is my friend not ok?

Sending my love over the miles...

Waiting.... Waiting...

To know that you are ok...

Exiting Life?

Not sure what that means....

Is it an exit from this part of your life into another part?

Is it an exit from life altogether?

Is there something I don't know?

Are you considering something that will leave me and others devastated?

Talk to me... k?

I

love

you
.

have

I

ever

told

you

that

?

If I could touch you..

I would pull you close.
So close you'd feel my
heart beating....
beating just for you..

I would wrap myself
around you..
naked skin against...
naked skin..

entwined limbs...
deep kisses..
sounds of pure unadulterated
ecstasy....

pulling you into me...
arching towards you....
reaching the heights
of ecstasy...

If I could touch you....

Keeper of the Stars...

.... makes me smile...

....makes me remember...

....makes me know...

love...

Proud Momma....

My son, Nathan graduated from college this weekend. He worked so hard .. I'm so proud of him.

His brother and sister are very proud of him too...

I love you Nathan... You'll always be my baby boy.. always and forever...

What Does Happiness Feel Like?

My class wrote a beautiful poem together called.. What Does Happiness Feel Like?

They read it in from of the entire school. It was so cute. They were nervous, but did such a wonderful job.

exhaustion

Boy... do I need to have a week of sleep... So much to do... and it doesn't seem to stop...

Tonight a meeting with the leadership team...
tomorrow sitting through 4 hours of Kindergarten teacher interviews...
thursday... working on the staff handbook.. then going to the curriculum meeting with the new parents of our school...

Friday.. driving to Gunnison to watch my beautiful son graduate from college.. I 'm so proud of him.. he's worked so hard

So. it doesn't look like any rest is in sight for the next few weeks.. but summer will be here soon.. and I'll have a month or so to rest before summer school starts up.

now.. off to bed.. alone... :(

Monday, Monday..

is over over...

17 more days of school... then I say goodbye to Columbine Elementary School.. where I've spent the last 7 years of my teaching career. I will miss certain people dearly... and others I can say goodbye to with zeal... Some of the most miserable people I've ever met work at that school... and they seem intent on spreading their misery like a wild fire through the school...

Even so... one of my best friends works at that school.. Jamie... and I have to say goodbye to her.. even though since she had Isabella, we've drifted apart a little.. still... she's my Jamie and I'm not sure how it will be to go to school every day and not see her.

Then there's Eddie... the best principal I've ever worked with. He's funny and good at his job. Now there will be Cyrus.. my new principal. He's intense.. but compassionate as well. I think he's going to be good to work with..

A brand new school.. Red Hawk Elementary.. I'll be the first and only teacher to ever teach in my classroom.. I'll have some of the best technology at my finger tips. It's a green star school.. so it's better for the environment.

It's new and I'm a little scared that I won't do well... that I'll find that I'm only a good teacher in Title schools.. that I can only teach children from poverty stricken areas.. Kids from well to do areas might not be someone I can I can't teach... who knows..

but.. it's time to move on and spread my wings and challenge myself..

Back to Work

You'll be great...
You've been missed...

Lucky them.. to have you back...

Take it slow... Take it easy...

smile that smile...
work that magic...

You'll be great..
You've been missed...

Why.....

I've always been able to pick myself up...
Dust myself off...
and forge ahead....

Not this time..

I wake up... and I wonder..
Why???
Why get out of bed?
What exactly is it that is worth
the EFFORT..... so much EFFORT....

I finally do get up...
and go downstairs to make coffee..
I turn on the news...
and I wonder..
Why???
Why is everything so bad out there?
Why do people treat one another they way they do?

Then I go to work.. and walk into my classroom..
It's usually the one place I can answer the question.. Why?
But these past few months.. it's not so clear.
Too many behavior and parent issues..
Too many times when I'm not who I want to be..
Who I used to be..

I look in the mirror..
and wonder..
Why???
Why would anyone love me??
It's clear that I have nothing to offer anyone...
Just old.. ugly... fat... me...
Not such a great thing..

Not picking myself up this time.
Wanting to throw in the towel..
Wanting to give it all up...

Why????