"Should a married couple want each other or need each other"
My response was that want should be the main ingredient.. yet there are times when they will need each other.. even when they might now want one another.
This dear friend of mine is 9 months pregnant and recently found out that her husband of 6 years was having an affair.. and she's hurting and she's scared, and she's incredibly angry.
Truth be told, I've always gotten a "creep" vibe from her husband.. but she was so completely and blindly in love with him, that I just accepted the fact that I didn't see whatever it was that she saw in him.. and after all.. she's the one married to him. I just had to put up with him at parties and an occasional book club (which is very very creepy, because he "lurked" in the background)
Now.. his creep factor is slapping her in the face and it's like she's waking up from a wonderful dream and being thrown into a nightmare. She's going to have his baby, and he's sleeping with someone else.
So.. right now she doesn't want him.. but she desperately needs him.. As a woman who's been 9 months pregnant 4 times.. I understand the vulnerability that comes along with it. It's such a vulnerable place to be. A new life is about to enter the world and you are just sure that there is no way you can take all that on..yet with someone by your side it seems possible.. So.. he needs to be there for this little girl.. and her mother.. but her mother doesn't want him there. It's a complicated place to find yourself.
I pray for my friend.. I do know one thing for sure.. When Isabella Nicole enters her world, she will no longer question what unconditional love looks, feels, and sounds like.. she'll know. There isn't a more perfect moment in the world than holding that precious baby in your arms and looking into their little face and feeling them wrap their hand around your finger.. I've experienced it three times.. and I've yet to find a moment that compares. Maybe my first grandchild will.. but it won't top it.
Good luck my friend.. Hold on to the fact that you are a strong, beautiful woman who deserves all the love and want and need in the world. He might not be the one, but that doesn't mean there isn't another one out there who is. No matter what, you will always be Isabella's mommy.. It's the sweetest of all relationships.. even when it doesn't feel like it.
Want? Need? Like? Love? They all belong in a marriage.. because a marriage is an ever changing thing.. and for it to go the distance you need to endure the valleys as much as you enjoy the hills.
No comments:
Post a Comment